A Letter to My Mother

Querida Mami,

Today, I find myself thinking of you with even more tenderness.

I think of your strength, your sacrifice, your love, and the many ways you shaped my life, even in moments I did not fully understand at the time.

Mi madre, la Dra. Mercedes Maria Paz Mendoza, was a hardworking woman. You were a single mother who did the best you could with what you had. You made our gifts with your own hands. You were an incredible cook, a public school teacher at an all-girls school, a dentist, and an advocate for equality. Above all, you were our mother.

You did not have an easy life, Mami.

As a child, I could not fully see the weight you carried. I could not understand all the difficult decisions you had to make. But I saw you. I saw how hard you worked. I saw how much you gave. I saw a woman who kept going, even when life asked more of her than it should have.

You were my role model.

So much of who I am was shaped by watching you. Even my path into public service was influenced by you. I saw in you a woman of service, of strength, and of conviction. A woman who kept showing up. A woman who kept giving. A woman who, despite hardship, still found a way to move forward.

Now, as a mother myself, and also a grandmother, I understand your sacrifices in a deeper way.

Time has a way of softening certain questions and deepening our understanding. What once felt like pain, confusion, or absence can, over time, reveal the love that was always there. Not a perfect love. Not an easy love. But a real one. A love shaped by hardship, sacrifice, and doing the best you could with the life you had.

And in many ways, after losing you, I later became the mother I needed in your absence.

That journey did not happen all at once.

It came through pain.

Through healing.

Through reflection.

Through learning how to mother my daughters with more openness, more compassion, and more truth.

Both of my daughters also experience depression, and that journey has taught us to communicate more honestly and understand one another more deeply. In helping them, I also continued helping myself. In loving them, I continued healing parts of me too.

That has been part of my becoming.

I have also had to unlearn the quiet expectations so many women inherit — the belief that we are supposed to endure everything, make ourselves small, and disappear so that the men in our lives can thrive.

I have had to let that go.

And in doing so, I found something better: the understanding that women are allowed to take up space, to speak, to rest, to heal, and to live fully without shrinking themselves for the comfort of others.

That too is part of motherhood.

Not only what we give, but what we choose to model.

Not only sacrifice, but truth.

Not only endurance, but wholeness.

Not only survival, but healing.

Mami, I honor you today with tenderness.

I honor all you carried.

I honor all you gave.

I honor the love that was present, even in imperfection.

I honor the woman you were, and the legacy you left in me.

You were not perfect.

But you loved us the best way you could.

And now, from where I stand as a woman, a mother, and a grandmother, I understand you more. I understand your sacrifices more. I understand your love more. I understand that some of what I have become was first planted by what I saw in you.

Thank you for the example of hard work.

Thank you for the example of service.

Thank you for the example of resilience.

Thank you for loving us in the ways you knew how.

Today, on your birthday, I remember you with love.

With gratitude.

With tenderness.

Con mucho cariño.

And though your absence has shaped me, so has your life.

I carry both.

Siempre serás parte de mí.

Con mucho amor,

Tu hija, Zully

Rise. Rebuild. Become.

Zully Gisella Goya Paz

Founder & CEO | GiMeZu

A gentle note:This reflection is shared from my personal lived experience. It is not intended to provide mental health, medical, or crisis advice. Every family’s journey is different, and if you need support, please reach out to a qualified professional or trusted resource.